Hello
Everyone,
See if
you can relate to the following —
"I am disappointed with myself.
I am disappointed not so much with particular things I have done as with aspects
of who I have become.
I have a nagging sense that all is
not as it should be.
Some of this disappointment is
trivial. I wouldn't have minded getting a more muscular physique. I
can't do home repairs. So far I haven’t shown much financial wizardry.
Some of this disappointment, I know,
is worse than trivial; it is simply the sour fruit of self-absorption.
I attended a high school reunion and
can't choke back the desire to stand out by looking more attractive or
having achieved more impressive accomplishments than my classmates … I
am disappointed in my ordinariness.
But some of this disappointment in
myself runs deeper. When I look back at raising my children, I think of
the kind of father I wanted to be. I wanted to create moments of magic, I
wanted them to remember laughing until the tears flow … I wanted to have slow
sweet talks with them as they're getting ready to close their eyes … I wanted
to pray for them in a way that makes them feel cherished.
When I looked on them as they slept
at night, and I remember how the day really went: I remember how they were
fighting over a game and I walked out of the room because I didn't want to
spend the energy needed to teach them how to resolve conflict.
I remember how my daughter spilled
her drink at dinner and I yelled at her about being careful as if she'd
revealed some deep character flaw; I yelled at her even though I spill things
all the time and no one yells at me; I yelled at her — to tell the truth —
simply because I'm big and she was little and I can get away with it.
I remember how at night I didn't
have slow, sweet talks, but merely rushed the children to bed so I could have
more time to myself. I'm disappointed.
And it's not just my life as a
father. I am disappointed also for my life as a husband, friend, neighbor, and
human being in general.
I think of the day I was born, when
I carried the gift of promise, the gift given to all babies. I
think of that little baby and what might have been: the ways I might have developed
my mind and body and spirit, the thoughts I might have had, the joy I might
have created.
I am disappointed that I still love
God so little and sin so much. I always had the idea as a child that adults
were pretty much the people they wanted to be. Yet the truth is, I am
embarrassingly sinful."
[pg. 13, 14 —
"The
Life You Always Wanted" — John Ortberg]
Could
you relate to the authors confession of disappointment with himself?
Have you
ever been disappointed with? You?
Have you
ever wanted to be a better person? a better friend? a better spouse/parent?
a better believer in Jesus Christ?
Have you
ever been disappointed because you really wanted to break a destructive
or negative pattern or habit in your life? But you couldn't?
Have you
ever been disappointed because you wanted to do great things for God and
others? But you haven't?
If you
answered yes to any of those 'disappointment' questions … good! … Because until
we are utterly disappointed with our inability we aren't
candidates for the ability God has for us through a partnership
with the Holy Spirit!
(It's
been called the — gift of inadequacy)
The
upper room was filled with men and woman who realized they just didn't have
what it takes … they knew that their best efforts weren't good enough!
Peter
meant it when he told Jesus he would die for him? But when crunch time
came? He caved!
The
disciples all pledged their loyalty to Christ? But when He was arrested
they ran and hid? Fearing for their lives!
Acts 2
describes what an appointment with the Holy Spirit can do to the
disappointments in our lives … and by studying what happened to, in,
and through the disciples … we discover how to go from being — disappointed
disciples to dynamic disciples!
This week
From Disappointed to Dynamic!
Greater
Things Are Still To Come!
Pastor
Phil 1
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